Currently Watchmen (Theatrical Cut) (Widescreen Single-Disc Edition) By Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup see related

An excerpt from my speech to 1st year students

My attitude to teaching is very American. Basically, my job is to teach you English. I get paid to do this, and I try to teach you the best I can. As far as I am concerned, the moral and ethical decisions you make in life are not my responsibility, nor is what you wear or what you smoke or drink. For all I care, feel free to be a robber or a serial killer. That's all on your parents. All I care about is even if you do become a serial killer, that you become an English-speaking serial killer. That means I have done my job.

However, it has come to my attention that when we have our periodic oral exams and I leave the classroom, that some of you have come to engage in violence upon your fellow students. Now I know I said before I don't care what you do as long as you are quiet, but the reason for my saying that was so you wouldn't distract others. Beating up people, no matter how quietly, is distracting! So please stop.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and also add that lying, stealing, and killing are bad-- especially killing teachers. Try to remember that.

Currently 100 Selected Stories (Wordsworth Classics) By O. Henry see related

Incident at the Sushi Bar

Warning! Not for the weak of stomach!

The events written about here happened a while ago, but it's taken me a long time to...ahem...properly "digest" my experience.

In retrospect, I guess I should have known that the huge aquarium at my favorite sushi bar was not entirely there for decorative purposes. In all fairness though, it doesn't have all that many fish in it, and the moray eels slinking around at the bottom are, as far as I know, not on the menu.

The moray eels are fascinating though, and scare the hell out of me and I suspect most people of my generation who watched one bite the face off of a scuba diver in The Deep.

Anyways, I occasionally get a craving for sushi and this is my favorite place to get it. It's really popular with the locals where I live, and they are famous for their variety and their portions. The prices are reasonable, and usually the fish dwarfs the rice its placed on. In short, its good eating.

So after I'm about finished with my meal, I notice one of the staff go back to the aquarium and pick one of the fish out with a small net. It really doesn't put up that much of a struggle, and I figure it's thinking, "Get me outta here! Those moray eels freak me out!" Little did the poor bugger expect the grisly fate that awaited it...

No sooner is he netted than he is flopped on the counter and chop goes the knife! I watched the process with morbid fascination and find myself mildly surprised and disconcerted at the amount of blood that poured out of it. I've seen fish blood before, but you don't see it on sushi. But let me tell you, they do bleed, and their blood is red.

The chef starts cutting it up into little sushi sized pieces and some of the other customers place orders for it, while other customers stare in horror and ask for their checks. I was already fairly full, but couldn't resist. New experiences are rare at my age, and who knows when a I'd have a chance like this again? So I ask for some.

The chef brings me a small plate with two pieces of fish on top of vinegared rice, with green blobs on top of it that he explains is a type of extremely spicy wasabe. This does not really concern me. I am just flabbergasted that I am about to eat a fish that was alive just ten seconds earlier, or two pieces of the fish. In fact, the rest of it was still twitching away jerkily about 5 feet down the counter from me. Fighting down a wave of nausea, I dig in.

It is slightly rubbery and not at all very appetizing, but that may just been because of the circumstances...

I finish, pay my bill, and leave.

Rationally speaking, I guess if you eat sushi, fish are killed and chopped up and that's the way it works. Despite this, I really felt like I did something bad, almost evil, that day, and I haven't been back to the place since. Hopefully, putting all this down in writing will provide some catharsis and let me go back and enjoy sushi in peace, because seriously, the sushi there is really, really good.

I wonder what moray eel tastes like...

Currently The Yellow Shark By Frank Zappa see related

Bangkok Blues

So I went to Bangkok for ten days...

The plan was to stay only one night, and then go on to Laos or Cambodia, but I got stuck. Armed only with my mandolin and and a backpack full of the bare essentials, I got a hotel in the Arab quarter and proceeded to get completely wasted. My downfall was primarily due to a new cocktail I have invented:

The Alabamony:

2 parts green tea

1 part vodka

Juice from one lime

Best when served in a glass of crushed ice.

Physically unable to navigate the complexities of checking out of my hotel and getting a ticket out of town, I spent the days and nights observing life from outdoor cafes and playing tunes. The area I was in was full of prostitutes, johns, transgender prostitutes, johns embarrasingly picking up transgender prostitutes, conmen, drug dealers, people on drugs, and drunks. My kind of people. I saw no reason to leave as I doubted anywhere would offer me as much peoplewatching amusement. I was also on a mission to spread the gospel of the Alabamony, which drunk in moderation leads to health and happiness. Unfortunately, I have not mastered the art of drinking in moderation. That being said, drinking the Alabamony to excess will not lead to hangovers. At least not very bad ones.

Talked with a whole bunch of people of the above type, without transgressing too many moral lines. My one naughty night I ended up partying with a group of rich businessmen, and got led out to a go-go bar. One of the group had just arrived in Bangkok and picked out the most beautiful girl in the bar to spend the night with. The rest of us took turns hitting on her and trying to piss him off. This is a highly amusing game, and I recommend it if you are ever in Bangkok. Hard to play anywhere else.

Have a whole bunch of stories involving Afghan refugees, rich people and poor people, incense peddlers, and freaks of a wide variety, but will divulge them only for a drink, so get in line if you are interested. It is strange being back in Japan with normal people again. I really don't fit in, but I guess life leads us where it will.

Currently The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire By Edward Gibbon see related

Swine Flu Blues

So I went to America and had a great time! As usual, the problems began after I got back to Japan. I hadn't been keeping up with the news, so I was surprised after the plane landed in Narita when a team of medical personnel wearing masks and sterile gloves got on board and distributed questionnaires and walked down the aisles pointing at people with a funky camera. Apparently, this was a measure adopted to protect the country from the new strain of swine flu.

OK, I am basically an honest person and very gullible after a 14 hour flight, so I was grateful when the camera person said I was ok to go (apparently the thing measures body temp...) and turned in the questionnaire saying I had no flu symptoms, along with all my contact info.

The thing that really surprised me was the next day when I got a call from the local health department asking me if I was ok, and to take my temp every morning and night, and when was a good time to call. I told them 6PM, and since then they have called me every night to check up on me. I am completely in awe of the system here when I think they are calling EVERYONE in Japan who has been to a flu stricken country in the past month! This must be tens of thousands of people!

So anyways, so far I am flu free, and tonight I will get my last health call. There were nights I resented it a little, but now that it's almost over, I have to admit I feel a little ambivalent. It's nice knowing somebody cares...:)

Currently Radio Days: Selections From The Original Soundtrack Of The Motion Picture By Glenn Miller & His Orchestra see related

The Horoscope

I am pretty much a sucker for almost any type of fortune-telling. I'm a Pisces, for one thing, and Pisces are superstitious by nature. So I was pleasantly surprised to find that they show your horoscope every morning on not just one, but two of the TV channels here in Japan. I watch one or the other or both whenever I can, and usually it's stuff like, "Make sure you leave time to do everything you do need to do today," or "Don't procrastinate, do it NOW", or "This would be a good day to suck up to your boss." All of which is fairly harmless, and I figure I have nothing to lose by following Mr. Horoscope Man's advice or keeping it in mind, although I have found from experience that my being born across the international date line makes all of it a day too early...

So anyway, yesterday's horoscope was "Be grateful for the environment around you and try to express it in writing." Brilliant! I immediately took the dog for a walk and sucked in the fresh morning air. It really is nice this time of year, with all the greenery pushing through the remains of the winter snow. It's great to look up at the mountains, still covered with snow, from the sunny warmth of the valley. I also love all the living things that are all around here in the country, especially the birds-- the cranes, the hawks, and the herons. It's pleasant after living here for so long to be able to mark the the subtle changes that signal the passing of the seasons. I saw geese flying south the last few days, so I guess maybe spring really is here now.

I wish all horoscopes were as pleasant as yesterdays. The worst one I ever had was the one a few months back that said, "Today you will be haunted by the memory of a past lover." Thanks, Mr. Horoscope Man. Try being haunted by the memories of ALL my past lovers!